What are your wedding family pictures? My definition is: family formal pictures on your wedding day that are posed, well-lit images where everyone is smiling at the camera. These are the ones that get hung on the wall and used for years in everyone’s birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, National Siblings Day Instagram and Facebook posts. They are no one’s favorite part of the day. No one wants to stop all the celebrating and line up to smile at the camera. I get it! 100%! But they are some of the most important pictures of the day and I want to make these as easy, fast and efficient as possible. After shooting weddings for more than 20 years, here are my suggestions:

MAKE A LIST OF WEDDING FAMILY PICTURES

With your fiancé and, possibly, with your mom, go through and make a list of who you would like in these formal pictures.  Be judicious with this list.  When adding so many combinations this is bumping valuable time for other important pictures (i.e. bridal party, couple pictures).

• Start out with just a brain dump of what you would like.
• Edit that list and think, “is this a picture we need during family formals or can we get it during the reception?”
• Then next to each combination, in parenthesis, include their name. I will put an example below.

Jane and John with Jane’s Immediate Family (Joseph, Sara, Peter, Brian, Jennifer)

Jane and John with Jane’s Siblings (Peter, Brian, Jennifer)

Jane and John with Jane’s Parents (Joseph, Sara)

Jane and John with both sets of Parents (Joseph, Sara, William, Mary)

You might ask, “why do you need names, Mollie?” Names are POWERFUL! I’m not a psych major, but I’m pretty sure there is something psychological about calling someone’s name. All I know is that it get people moving more quickly than just calling, “JANE’S BROTHERS AND SISTERS!”

6-8 weeks before your wedding, you will receive a PDF reminding you of the family formal list process, so you can start working on and narrowing down your list. Then one month before your wedding, you will get your Wedding Day Questionnaire and that is where you will enter your family formal list.

I always encourage you to get that back to me as soon as possible.

I go through the list and re-organize it to make it as efficient as possible (i.e. making sure mom isn’t going and coming into pictures 10 times, trying to do all the ones of mom one right after another, it makes it go so much faster).

After I have reorganized the list, I send it back, you can go over it again and make sure everything looks right, and make sure that no one is missing.

INFORM YOUR FAMILY

Once the list is finalized, you can distribute it to your family, email it to them, DM it to them, and then call them and make sure they got it.  I joke, but really…this is super important.  Make sure they know where to be and when.

Sometimes it easiest to assign a family representative, for each family, that is in charge of making sure that everyone is present, not heading to cocktail hour or sneaking off to find hor d’oeuvres.  The number one thing that slows down family pictures is trying to find cousin Eddie or Uncle Bob.

If there are extended family pictures included we do those FIRST, to get the largest amount of people off to cocktail hour as soon as possible. And, yes, names are super important for these group pictures.

TRUST YOUR LIST AND YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER WITH YOUR WEDDING FAMILY PHOTOS

This is the point that you trust and let me do my thing, let me go through the list you have given me and we had worked on for weeks. Honestly, I really shine during an organized family formal session. 🙂

I ask, at the end of each family, if there are any that I have missed.  That is the time to add different combinations, if desired.

The second most common thing that slows down family pictures is making extra suggestions, extra combinations, mid formal pictures.  Many times, these are pictures that are on the list and would be happening eventually.  Of course, we want to get these combinations, but it is best to wait until the end of the family group, or even until the reception.

These pictures are IMPORTANT, but it also seems to be the time people get the most anxious, impatient and time is limited so we want to make it as efficient as possible.

THE MOST COMMON GROUPS FOR WEDDING FAMILY PICTURES

The best way to start with groups is with the biggest groups and then take people away.  And also start with the biggest family and/or the one with the youngest children.  In my experience, it goes much more efficiently.

• Bride’s Large Family – Immediate family with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. (If grandparents are older, we, many times do their individual pictures with the bride and groom before moving on.)

• Bride’s Immediate Family – mom, dad, step-parents, sisters, brothers, in-laws, nieces/nephews

• Bride’s Parents – with the groom and then without

• Bride’s Mom

• Bride’s Dad

• Bride’s Siblings

And then we repeat with the groom’s side.

FAMILY DYNAMICS DURING WEDDING FAMILY PICTURES

Every family is different. It is SUPER important to talk to your photographer, in depth, about your specific family dynamic. I don’t think I can emphasize this enough. Most photographers cannot be surprised by much. And they know how to handle each situation with minimal awkwardness, as long as they are aware. We aren’t “nosy” and, believe me, we don’t want to know all the dirt, but I have been put in very awkward situations dealing with family issues during family pictures (and throughout the day sometimes) that could have been avoided with a little bit of education. In the questionnaire there is a question to input this information. (For example, “stepmom and mom do not get along, don’t put them in the same picture.” We don’t need to know why, but we do need to know it.)

Divorced Parents

This can be easily handled with one immediate family picture with both parents (for you) and one with just mom and one with just dad (for them).  You can add current spouses or significant others to these also.

Same with the bride and groom pictures with the parents, one with both parents and one with the bride and groom with just mom and one with just dad.

Of course, if they really can’t stand being together, we can keep them all separate.

Brother/Sister With Their Significant Other

My advice is unless they are officially married, they aren’t included in your formal family pictures or we do one without and one with them.

I am passionate about this because I had a terrible experience with this at my own wedding.  My brother was engaged and so I included her and her two children in ALL (including my wedding party) pictures and then, the very next week, she called it off.  Yeah.  Bummer.

But I complete get it, some significant others have been part of the family since before your husband or wife has been part of the family, so this is completely your call.

But, I do know how to handle the situations very delicately. And that is where the list and knowing the names. I can call individuals names, start with the immediate family and then add in (calling them by name) to the next picture. It all flows very easily and I’ve never had an awkward moment because I knew what to expect.

These are just a couple of the countless possible situations.  My suggestion for all of them:

1. Talk to your photographer
2. Come up with a solution for family pictures.
3. Inform family members of the decision BEFORE THE WEDDING so everyone is on board (whether they like it or not, it is YOUR day) and there are no surprises and additional awkward situations.

CONCLUSION

Follow these steps and advice and family pictures will flow easily, seamlessly. Before you (or Cousin Eddie) know it, you will be on to the reception, celebrating with all of your family and friends.